500 Days of Sammy - Day 15

The person you miss the most. Marika Morrow: I haven't seen you since Christmas, but it feels like it's been years. I wish I still lived in California for so many reasons, and the fact that I would be able to see you practically every weekend is a major factor. We are finally going to meet up again on our family vacation, and it feels like it can't come quick enough. I have been anticipating August 4th since the day you left. I can't wait to see you and tell you all about what has happened in the past six months, and nothing beats your interesting stories about Stephen. We are definitely calling him again. I'll see you at Pudding Creek.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 14

Someone you've drifted away from. KP: You haven't been showing up to practices very much this summer, so I rarely get to have fun conversations with you anymore. Mallory and I always bring up the countless inside jokes we have, and it's disappointing that you're never there to reminisce with us. I hope to see you more as this summer comes to an end, and I hope that we can be as close as we were when you first moved to our team. I love you, Kim Possible!

500 Days of Sammy - Day 13

I fell behind yet again because of another out of town swim meet. That's basically been my summer so far. Swim.

Someone you wish could forgive you. I don't feel like I should have to ask for anyone's forgiveness right now, because no one that I care about is upset with me. If anyone reading this feels like they deserve an apology from me, then you should confront me about it.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 12

Yes, I'm doing two days in one because I skipped a day.

The person you hate the most/caused you the most pain. Ahhh freshman year. The time of stupid decisions, naïve thoughts, and false feelings. Nobody had ever really complimented me before I met you, so I thought what you were saying to me was unique and special. Boyyyy was I wrong. Every word you have ever said to me was a lie. There may have been a week when we first met that you were being sincere, but that's it. From then on what we had a was pathetic excuse of a relationship. I shared so much with you, and I gave you my whole heart and all my trust, and you threw all of that down and stomped on it. Actually, you used a jack-hammer to shatter it. I wish I could say we're friends or that we've resolved our conflicts, but when I tried to do that you shut me down because it was all a joke to you. I don't hate you, but I am extremely disappointed that you didn't turn out to be a better person. I wish people really could change.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 11

A deceased person you wish you could talk to: Great Grandma Grace, you passed away when I was 12, and I was too young to realize what an amazing person you were. I wish we could talk about swimming and helping people, the two things you were the best in the world at. I still think about you a lot, and you help me through problems every day. You had so much determination to always be there for those people who were important to you, but you continued to swim until you were ninety six. You have made me realize that it's okay to want to have a social life, and be a successful swimmer because it's possible. I hope I can help as many people as you did, and I'm going to break your record in the 100 backstroke so we can keep it in our family name for another 100 years.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 10

Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to: There are two people that have grown away from me this summer. Katie, you agree that we haven't been talking as much, and it really kills me. Every time something happens in my life that I find important, I want to drive to your house and tell you every little detail. Unfortunately my hectic life doesn't allow that, and I'm lucky if I can visit you once a week. Once school starts again I know we will be closer than ever, and I'm gonna make sure our junior year is the best school year yet. For now, just keep your head up, and I will be sure to leave room for you in my calendar. We will always be best friends, no matter how often we get to talk. I promise.

Thomas, I don't really know when we stopped talking, but I know it's been too long. I know that your mom rarely lets you leave the house and you can't control that, but we swim at the same pool everyday and I still feel like I haven't seen you in months. Mostly because you've gotten closer to more guys on the team, and now Sean is here, so it's obvious you'll always put them before me. I just wish we could laugh together like we used to. Now when we talk it's dull and uneventful. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if the end of summer brings us close again. I certainly hope so.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 09

Someone you wish you could meet: No one really comes to mind when I think of someone that I would like to meet and have a nice conversation with. There are plenty of famous people out there who inspire me to work towards my dreams everyday, but I have my friends to do that for me also. I suppose the reason for this is because they are the people who know me best, and they can decide what is good for me. If I were to have a little chat with someone I had just met, I would only put a small amount of consideration into what they have to tell me about life, swimming, singing, or whatever they have advice on, because everyone has different experiences, which makes everyone have a different outlook.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 08

Your favorite internet friend. I haven't met very many people via the internet, but those I have are very interesting to me and I'm glad I got to know them. The first person that comes to mind is William Sims. He goes to Green Valley and we met through mutual friends on facebook. Classy, I know. We talked from seven until midnight one time, even though we had only known each other for 3 days. This falls into the stranger post from a few days ago. We don't talk much anymore, and I'm fairly certain that's because all he ever does is hang out with his girlfriend. I find it disappointing when people become so consumed with their significant other that they can't see what is going on in the world around them. Hopefully we'll talk again soon, because we connect to each other easily and make each other laugh, which is always a good thing. Most of all, I like talking to him because he proves that not all guys are the same. Some of them are truly kind-hearted and are only interested in having a light conversation with a friend. Nothing more.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 07

I was out of town for a swim meet, yet again, so I missed quite a few days of posting.

Your ex-boyfriend: I posted a blog about you not too long ago which basically summed up my feelings towards you now. Since then, we've been talking, but I still think you're oblivious to the fact that I think you're an idiot and you don't care about anyone but yourself. You don't take the time to get to know people well enough to know when something is really bothering them. To me, it's no big deal, honestly. I am doing great without you. In fact, I'm doing better. I found this new guy. You know him, actually. He has been there for me through everything; even getting over you. He's also really successful, and cares about me. So I upgraded, and you downgraded. I win.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 06

A Stranger: You meet a new person everyday. Whether it's while checking out at the grocery store, going to a party, or even just seeing an attractive person walking by, you notice someone new each day. One stranger that I will probably never forget is Martin from Knotts Berry Farm. For my friend Mallory's sweet sixteen we spent a day there, and met the friendliest people. All the workers were welcoming and helpful. We met Martin when I decided it would be fun to try his game booth and make him guess my weight. Lucky for me, I look like I weigh a lot less than I actually do, so I got a Patrick Star stuffed animal. All Martin knows about me is how much I weight, that I swim, and I am strangely obsessed with Spongebob, and we were able to talk for 4 hours. It's amazing what unique connections people can have while making small talk. Martin is no stranger anymore; he's 20, hoping to be engaged soon, and lives on Mulberry Avenue. It's hard to believe how big your first impression of a stranger can be.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 05

Your dreams: I'm not sure if this is supposed to be what fills my head while I sleep, or what I hope of becoming when I'm an adult. I guess I'll do both.

I don't remember my dreams very often, but when I do dream, they're really weird. I mostly think this is because I daydream a LOT during the day about the most random scenarios that would never happen. For example, the last dream I remember I had while I was in Cali for a swim meet, and I dreamed that I was on a Japanese game show and when I got to the top of an obstacle course I jumped off, landed in a tropical rain forest, and started swinging from vines singing the Tarzan theme song. I think this means that I'm longing for adventure. I also dream about the boy I like, of course. I imagine us in places all over the world, from Alabama to Zimbabwe. I wish dreams really did come true.

As for my dreams of what I will become in the future, all I want is to be in the ocean with all those amazing creatures that inspire me. I want to learn about every little barnacle and plankton, and look into the eye of a blue whale. But most of all, I want to save a minimum of 1000 animals from ignorant fisherman that have no consideration for the damage they do to the ocean. Also, I plan on stopping the dolphin slaughtering in Japan. Just a few of the things on my bucket list that I think about every day of this life I live. Again, I really wish dreams would come true.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 04

Your sibling: Oh dear. I don't have much to say about Dan. That's mostly because he's never really acted like a brother towards me. We don't get along, and we try and keep our distance. In fact, we were the most cordial towards each other when he was a solid 3 hour plane ride away. I wish him the best of luck in life, but I can't wait to get away forever.

500 Days of Sammy - Day 03

I fell way behind because I was out of town for a swim meet, then I went on vacation, so I'm just gonna pick up where I left off.

Your Parents: The people who brought me into this world. I'm supposed to owe my whole life to them, right? Devote myself to making them happy and always listening to what they have to say, but for some reason I can't seem to do that. I feel like my parents are never truly happy with what I do. In fact, the only time I thought they were honestly proud of me is when I got fast enough to get a swim scholarship. My grades aren't as good as I should be, I'm not responsible, and I don't act like a family member. I try so hard to do everything they ask, but it's hard for me to keep up with school, swim, my social life, and family. It's too much for me to handle. I guess I made the wrong choice when I decided my friends were more important to me than my parents. Unfortunately, there's nothing they can do to change that, because my friend's have been there for me through hardships, while my parents didn't give a shit. The past is real, and I let it influence how I think of them now. Of course I love my mom and dad, but I can't wait to live on my own.

"Our scars remind us that the past is real."